I love finding vintage furniture on Craigslist. Sadly, the fine item for a good deal is a bit of a rarity there. It is frustrating to wade through page after page of utter crap to get that one diamond in the rough, but it can be worth it. Some types of ads – and sadly these are common – merit my wrath and sarcasm. Here are a few of my very, very real favorite types of Craigslist fails.
Why throw it away when I could ask $300 for it? Sometimes even vintage trash is just trash. When the mint green 1960s sofa is so bug-eaten, food-stained, and odiferous that your Craigslist listing actually has a stench to it, there’s a good chance that no one is going to pay a couple hundred bucks for it unless it is something stunningly special. And it rarely is. In a similar vein, yes, that little angel figurine of grandma’s is great, but it would be even better if it hadn’t been dropped, chipped, and poorly reglued. Things like that do tend to affect value. Just because you saw the same thing in mint condition on eBay for a fine sum doesn’t mean that your broken facsimile is worth a dime.
Eeewwwwwwwww
Um, what are you selling again? No one should have to be an expert at antiques in order to sell grandmom’s treasures on eBay. However, it is amazing how some of these ads that don’t always correctly identify the item being sold seem to be accompanied by price tags that suggest that not only has a full appraisal of the item been completed, but that there is some incredible and rare aspect to the item that we, as mere shoppers, couldn’t possibly appreciate which would warrant the extravagant price. I suspect most of the time, these ads are driven by a cross between ignorance and wishful thinking. No, Bobby, that isn’t a vintage rare Irish crystal antique decanter. It is the dimestore glass that Nana kept her dentures in at night.
Pictures are worth a thousand words. A personal favorite of mine is the Craigslist poster, typing from his shack somewhere in the far off boondocks, who lists an item very generically (“Antique Chair”) and throws in “Must See!” and some fantastically high price, without including a picture. Sure, just let me get in the car and drive for an hour and a half only to find that you are asking a hundred and fifty bucks for your late mom’s lawnchair that has outside resting against your garage for the better part of two decades. Thanks, but no thanks.
Good pictures are worth even more. Another favorite of mine is the fellow who posts “Antiques – make an offer” along with a dark and blurry photo of what could be a table covered in garden gnomes, tools, old beer cans, or hell, nearly anything because without some sort of sixth sense there’s no way to tell what on earth was being sold.
The Winner. Sometimes an ad combines all of my favorite fail elements into one. Ah, here’s one now. High price tag? At $7,500.00, you betcha. Crappy picture? Item for sale is off in the distance, and obscured by shadows – check! But the kicker for me is the text of the ad: ” vintage, 1876 butler table, signed. maybe worth more, or less.” Maybe worth more, or less. No truer words have been spoken, I’m sure.
Oh well. Even though it means that Craigslist is filled with nonsense on a daily basis because the ads are free, at least once in awhile someone really, legitimately needs to part with something nice. Until my next big find, I’ll keep wading through the fail, and every so often I’ll share some of my more failtastic finds here.
